Using Belly Dance to Heal Deepest Emotional Wounds – Part 1

Using Belly Dance to Heal Our Deepest “Emotional Core” Wounds – Part 1

This post is not for everyone.

Really.

This is for “mature audiences only” – reader discretion advised.

(The following post shares personal experiences, and is not medical advice. If you are at all in doubt before you begin – should you choose to do something similar to what I’ve done – consider asking for guidance from a licensed medical or therapeutic professional. And perhaps have a trained counselor with you as you do this particular form of “inner journey.”)

What Is a “Core Wound”?

A core wound is the psychological impact from an experience (or set of experiences) that we have when we are young, or are otherwise exceptionally vulnerable. This (these) experience(s) occur when we are still shaping our basic worldview; our concept of whether or not the world is a “friendly place.”

Core wounds most commonly come from experiences with our immediate family. In particular, they come about with those whom we identify as essential to our survival.

To the best of my knowledge, all of us carry with us some sorts of core wound. We often have them no matter how much we do psychotherapy, seek “spiritual enlightenment,” or just plain “work on our stuff.”

How Can We Determine What – In Ourselves – Is Our Own Core Wound?

Mother Henna writes about her experience of seeing her "pain body" as separate from her "light body."
Mother Henna writes about her experience of seeing her “pain body” as separate from her “light body.”

Core wounds feel like psychological “hurt.” In fact, they “hurt” a lot. So as a result, we try to bundle them up and isolate them away from our conscious awareness.

Core wounds never really go away on their own. They stay inside us, with tremendous power – mostly because we try to contain and control them.

How Do We Detect Our Core Wounds, and Know What They Are?

Often, our core wound show up as “blurts.” These can be phrases that we say to ourselves. Sometimes, they even slip into our conversations! Or, we show ourselves (and others around us) a core wound by voicing strong opinions about how a person (or certain group of persons) always does something that is “bad.”

Core wounds feel intensely private. We rarely – if ever – discuss them with others. Often, if we do psychotherapy or have a life coach or a spiritual counselor, we may work for months before we tentatively allow our core wound area to be broached. This is because, of all the parts of our inner world, our core wound feels most sensitive, most vulnerable, most “ouchie”!

And yet, if we do allow a core wound area to “come into the open,” we may be surprised to learn that our coach, counselor, or therapist really knew about it all along. (And so, for that matter, did our relationship partners, and possibly our boss, co-workers, family, and friends.) This is because our core wounds affect us so much that we “give them away” all the time!

Who Else Talks About Core Wounds?

Eckhart Tolle writes about core wounds in The Power of Now. He calls them our pain-body.

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Core wounds never really go away on their own. They stay inside us, with tremendous power – mostly because we try to contain and control them.

Often, our core wound show up as “blurts.” These can be phrases that we say to ourselves. Sometimes, they even slip into our conversations! Or, we show ourselves (and others around us) our core wound by voicing strong opinions about how a person (or certain group of persons) always does something that is “bad.”

Using Oriental Dance (Belly Dance) to Heal

We can have breakthroughs, and often do. But still, these are the “core.” They go right down to how we believe that the world works – in our favor, or not. Dangerous, or safe and friendly.

When we dance, we sidestep the cognitive side of who we are. When we let our bodies simply move, and express how we feel, we can access – and begin to heal – our core wounds.

I’m not talking here about technique practice, or learning a tight little choreography. There is nothing wrong with either technique or choreography. But at some point, we need to go beyond – to what dance really is, and what it can do for us – if we start releasing ourselves to the flow of energy and feeling that we can experience as we dance.

Z Helene Christopher – in her excellent paper on Middle Eastern Dance: The Emergence of the New Sacred Temple Priestess – provides four key points that will help all of us (including myself) use Oriental dance (belly dance) to heal our core wounds. According to Z Helene:

There are four main points in which we, as new temple priestesses, reclaim and reconnect with the ancient Goddess.

  1. We must understand our dance as embodying nature, especially its fertility aspects… Our dance exudes fertility. We move our pelvises and roll our bellies, honoring the sexual act and the resulting procreation…
  2. We reclaim and reconnect with the ancients by understanding our dance as manifesting ecstasy… Our movement invokes the ecstatic kundalini…
  3. We reclaim and reconnect with the ancients by understanding our dance as an experience of Divine Union…
  4. We reclaim and reconnect with the Goddess by understanding ourselves as dispensers of karuna; early motherly love … transformed … to embrace all forms of love: touching, tenderness, compassion, mercy, sensual enjoyment and eroticism.

Alay'nya - author of "Unveiling: The Inner Journey"
Alay’nya – author of Unveiling: The Inner Journey

Very best wishes as you tap into who you really are using dance!

Yours in dance –

Alay’nya
Author of Unveiling: The Inner Journey
You are the Jewel in the Heart of the Lotus. Become the Jewel!

Founder and Artistic Director, The Alay’nya Studio
Bellydance a courtesan would envy!

Check out Alay’nya’s YouTube Channel
Connect with Alay’nya on Facebook
Follow Unveiling: The Inner Journey on Facebook


From Z Helene’s Amazon review of “Unveiling: The Inner Journey”: “Unveiling is about becoming more intimate with ourselves. It is about peeling away the outer layers that keep us from knowing, naming, and attaining our deep wants and desires. By embarking upon a transforming inner spiritual journey, we are encouraged to get connected to ourselves in a way that allows us to genuinely feel our bodies and emotions– all of them, even the undesirable ones. By integrating and loving our “shadow” sides, and by doing daily practices such as stillness, softening, releasing, shifting state, and breathing, we increase our vital energy (prana, ch’i) which makes us more attractive and, yes, more erotic as well. For true attractiveness, according to Alay’nya, is the ability of women to lessen their adopted masculine roles of control and being in charge (Amazon archetype), and instead to surrender to pure energy, motion, and love. This is what makes us beautiful!”


Z Helene Christopher
Z Helene Christopher – Dancer and Herstorian, High Priestess and Teacher. Photo courtesy Rick Fink.

P.S. – Have you read Z Helene’s article on Middle Eastern Dance: The Emergence of the New Sacred Temple Priestess? I recommend it to all my dancers!

Z Helene also has a 4-volume basic Middle Eastern dance (belly dance) instructional DVD set, and another DVD on zills, available through her website. Check them out!


Copyright (c) 2013, Alay’nya. All rights reserved.

Related Posts: Energy Healing and Emotional Healing through Dance

Releasing Neck Tension (and Minimizing the Dreaded "Dowager’s Hump")

Looking Younger – by Releasing Neck Tension

One of my dear friends exercises regularly. I see her often getting up in the morning, putting together a blender-full of a healthy protein and fruit smoothie, and heading out to the gym before she goes to work each day. She’s resumed her “healthy lifestyle,” and she’s getting fitter and trimmer.

As we women get older, we are likely to get <a href="
As we women get older, we are likely to get osteoporosis, resulting in the dreaded ‘dowager’s hump.

Nevertheless, I keep seeing a persistent hunch-over in her shoulders and neck. It’s the emerging dreaded “dowager’s hump”!

Far too many of us are getting this “hunched over” look; partly because so many of our activities – from working at the computer to driving a car – induce this posture. They all bring our arms forward and “hunch” our necks downwards.

If You Can’t Be a Good Example, Then Be a Horrible Lesson

I see my friend, and get a pointed reminder of how I don’t want to look!

Just like her – and possibly just like you – I spend most of my days at the computer. Occasionally, I’m driving about town. These two activities take up the bulk of my time.

Seeing how I don’t want to look is a powerful reminder to include “dowager’s-hump-fighting-strategies” into my life.

But – just like you – I get absorbed in my work, sometimes for hours at a time.

What can we do?

Proactive Steps to Minimize a Dowager’s Hump

As we get older, we can’t simply rely on exercise alone to keep osteoporosis (and the dowager’s hump) at bay. We need to think about a more integrated strategy, including:

  • Diet, including dark leafy greens – possibly with vegetable juicing, together with with good calcium/magnesium supplements,
  • Targeted exercise, focusing on a complete core-strengthening regime, and
  • Specific stretches to open up our neck, upper back, and shoulder/pectoral areas.

Dr. Natalie Cordova, a Chiropractor and posture expert, gives us some ideas on what we can do to strengthen our backs and reduce the likelihood of a dowager’s hump.

Jim Evans also suggests some exercises to help deal with a dowager’s hump.

Releasing Neck and Back Tension Will Help Minimize a Dowager’s Hump

Most of us have desk jobs. Between sitting at our desks, sitting in the car (with our shoulders brought forward as we grasp the wheel), and then sitting at home in the evenings, we are all too often in a posture that tightens our neck and hunches our shoulders forward. Even in our “leisure moments,” we’re reinforcing this posture. (Feel the posture that you’re in while watching TV, doing texts and emails, and other digitally-based activities.)

One of the most notable signs of aging is our posture. Actually, it’s a combination of posture and muscular/joint stiffness. “Limberness” is a sign of youth. Being hunched over, with a tight, drawn in neck, with rounded shoulders is a sign of both stress and aging. And when we get “fixated” in this kind of posture, we start looking like a turtle – one that is very reluctantly sticking its head out of its shell! That’s the “dowager’s hump” stage.

Surprisingly, not many fitness coaches and anti-aging gurus focus on this. But a tight neck, and tight shoulders, are not only absolute give-aways about aging, they also feel awful! It’s hard to feel vigorous, lighthearted, and happy when our posture says that we’re hunching over to avoide the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune”!

Perhaps even more surprisingly, the key to unlocking neck and shoulder tension (and releasing a “dowager’s hump”) starts not at our neck, but in our hips, pelvis, and lower back. As we release these areas, we begin to “mobilize” our spine. Once we do that, we can start releasing tension up and down our spines – reaching up into our neck. This is how we create a youthful, vibrant body!

I’ve just come back from a week at a client site. There were task-filled days, often be-bopping from one place to another, with the “to-do list” always on my mind. While I could do some stretch-outs, some yoga, and some walking while at my client’s, it just wasn’t ideal for my early-morning “sun salutation” yoga workout. And now, returning to home base, in the midst of unpacking and taking care of everyone’s physical (and emotional) needs, I’m noticing a tight neck. And also, a tight back, and a very tight lower back and hip area. The secret? A combination of yoga and “belly dance basics” – a series of stretching and releasing exercises that are actually best done in bed, or on a soft and yielding surface. I’ve been combining that with deliberate breathing, opening up my diaphragms. And without even getting to my neck area, I’m already getting some release.

Our yoga practice doesn’t have to be fancy, and we don’t need to do lots of advanced poses. But just getting some “downward dog” and “sun salutations” in helps tremendously to release tension in our hips, lower back, and sacral area. And all of this is necessary before any form of dance can begin.


Very best wishes as you use Oriental dance (belly dance) for personal growth and healing!

Yours in dance –


Alay'nya - author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Unveiling-The-Inner-Journey-Alaynya/dp/0982901305/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1368123419&sr=8-1&keywords=unveiling+the+inner+journey">Unveiling: The Inner Journey</a>
Alay’nya – author of Unveiling: The Inner Journey

Alay’nya
Author of Unveiling: The Inner Journey
You are the Jewel in the Heart of the Lotus. Become the Jewel!

Founder and Artistic Director, The Alay’nya Studio
Bellydance a courtesan would envy!

Check out Alay’nya’s YouTube Channel
Connect with Alay’nya on Facebook
Follow Unveiling: The Inner Journey on Facebook


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P.S. Want a couple of good DVDs to help strengthen your core and minimize dowager’s hump tendencies? Check out the two below!

 

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DVD

 


Gerson Kuhr, aka The Fitness Pharaoh on Unveiling: The Inner Journey

What does the Fitness Pharaoh, producer of the highly-acclaimed Core Training for Belly Dancers, have to say about Unveiling: The Inner Journey?

Gerson writes:
“Masterfully written. This is one of the most inspiring books that I have come across in a long, long time. It is “must reading” for any woman who wants to get in touch with her “inner diva” and realize her full potential as a dancer and human being. It’s empowering for men as well. The resources alone (mentioned throughout the book) are well worth the purchase price.”

Read this and more reviews of Unveiling: The Inner Journey.

 
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Alay’nya, Unveiling: The Inner Journey

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Copyright (c) 2012; revised 2013, Alay’nya. All rights reserved.

Related Posts: Creating a Youthful Presence Through Belly Dance

How to Use the "Fountain of Youth"

The “Fountain of Youth” – The Beauty Secret That Costs Nothing (and Makes Us Look Years Younger)!

Would you like to get out of bed looking ten years younger? What if something made you look even better than having a good night’s sleep, or a rousing round of early morning sex? Both sleep and sex are good; no question. But what if there was one more thing that would increase your beauty, your vigor, your vital energy, your zest, and your overall confidence and sex appeal? What if there was a single, ultimate, “anti-aging secret”?

And what if this anti-aging secret cost nothing but time?

It’s just because this “costs nothing more than time” that you don’t see articles about this in the major women’s magazines.

We all know that today, more than ever, beauty is “big business.” We know that “Baby Boomer women” in North America make up the world’s demographic with the greatest disposable income. Manufacturers and marketers know this, also. That’s why TV shows and women’s magazines are a vehicle for advertising all manner of skin care, hair care, and beauty products. They also promote services – ranging from cosmetics customization to cosmetic surgery.

All of these are good. I have no problem with any of these, and am as interested as the next woman.

But there’s one more thing – a “special something” which no one mentions. And they don’t mention it simply because there’s no profit margin. Your favorite plastic surgeons won’t get you under the knife for this. Your favorite “medi-spa” won’t book you for a bit of Botox. Revlon and Estee Lauder – and all the many other cosmetics companies – won’t post greater profits to their stockholders.

The 2011 Summer-Fall issue of New Beauty magazine has articles such as “Botox Breakthroughs” and “The Secret Surgery: How to Look Years Younger in 60 Minutes or Less.”

These are all good – please, I am not suggesting that we don’t take advantage of each and every benefit that these advanced beauty methods offer. From spas to supplements, from hormones to yoga, from restylane to revitalizing face creams – I’m for all of them.

But let’s think about a “one hour beauty treatment” that doesn’t involve a surgical procedure – or even visiting your favorite masseuse.

What could we do so that, as Lord Byron said, our lips would be “roses over-washed with dew“?

This is not some arcane secret that requires a lifetime of questing, and years of esoteric study. Rather, it is practical, efficient, and learnable. Moreover, it gives us instant results. By accessing and using our very own Fountain of Youth, we increase our beauty – we actually do look years younger – without the time and cost (and potential downsides) of cosmetic surgery, injectables and lasers, and other means that are common in our current “beauty culture.”

The Fountain of Youth: What It Is, What It Isn’t

In Unveiling: The Inner Journey I write about the very real Fountain of Youth that any one of us can access and use. It’s all in Chapter 29, “Pragmatic Esoterics.” And I was practicing it this morning, just after waking up.

And yes, I did look ten years younger getting out of bed today!

P.S. Do you want instant access to this “secret”? Go to: The Fountain of Youth: It “Really Is” Real!