LETTER to my God(dess) Daughter – September, 2007

Radical, Out-There, Edgy Suggestion — “Practice Entertainment Austerity” – A Letter

September, 2007

My Dearest Darling God(dess) Daughter –

This letter continues with the theme we started a couple of months ago, on creating the time in which to know yourself. In July, my letter to you focused on the pragmatics of daily and weekly “life organization.” August’s topic (still to be completed) presented and embellished a suggestion from Julia Cameron (The Artist’s Way) . Julia recommends to her workshop participants, during one week of a multi-week workshop course, that they do not read a single thing (that is not absolutely necessary for their job) for a whole, solid week. (And naturally, the thought extends to the more obvious time-absorbers, such as TV.)

Naturally, this suggestion provokes howls of outrage from the participants.

But Julia is not alone in making such an extreme, outrageous suggestion. Tim Ferriss (The Four-Hour Workweek) suggests the same — for the entire duration of time in which you should read, absorb, and put into practice the principles he offers in his book.

Radical? You bet! But this is the strategy that top athletes, actors, and others use when they want to harness and focus the full power of their internal resources.

Most of the time, I practice some form of “entertainment austerity.” It helps me to both know myself, and to be at my most creative. And yes, there are times when I am more or less aligned with this. But of all the practices that I have found, and can recommend to you, this is the most effective. It helps with both increasing productivity and/or creativity (outer world), and for creating the time and space in which to know yourself (inner world).

You will, of course, know your own “time-traps.” These range from newspapers to novels, from telephone to TV. The internet can be particularly insidious, offering little “newsy” articles with each logon. Even casual conversations — if you recognize that they are just absorbing your time, and not really either “relationship-building” or “useful information sharing,” can be a way of distracting your attention.

The critical point with this entire exercise is to realize that your most valuable resource — more so than money — is your attention. Not even just your time, but your attention. This is what you jealously need to hoard for a little while, because it can get dribbled away faster than a pocketfull of twenties when you’re at the mall.

So what will you do with this time?

Journaling would be a good first step. (Reference Julia C., and The Artist’s Way, once again.) Get into the habit of taking your journal notebook with you wherever you go, and catching the “odd moments.” Once you have that down, see if you can’t create “found time” from what you save from your “entertainment austerity” campaign. (Think of your journal as your piggybank, and writing into your journal as depositing daily small change into this bank. Over time, it adds up!)

Yoga / stretch / unwinding is another good time-use. And this doesn’t always need to be a “formal” yoga session, but catch some of the “downtime” that you would normally use to indulge in relaxation-entertainment, and turn that into a quiet, private, get-in-touch-with-your-body time.

You know that, if you’re trying to either develop yourself as a performing dance artist, or if you want dance to be your “integration pathway” for mind/body/psyche evolution, you need both greater body awareness and also release of body tension. Dance sessions — for both choreography and practice — are important. But underlying this, you need to let your body express itself more naturally, fluidly, and easily. This means that you need some time, one-on-one, alone with your body. No teacher, and no “cognitive agenda.” Just time with your body, “listening in.”

A couple of paragraphs earlier, I mentioned unwinding . This is not just a generic, catch-all term, synonymous with sitting on the couch, drinking a glass of wine, and chatting with your friend. No, this is much more specific; it is a set of body and inner-awareness techniques. One of the easiest ways to get started is to wear comfortable clothing (maybe socks, but no shoes), get on the floor, and start stretching.

After a bit, just letting your stretch evolve the way your body suggests to you, you’ll start to realize that your body is leading the way — not your “head-sense” of what you should be doing to stretch your body.

As you relax into your body and quiet your mind, a different kind of intelligence will start to emerge. This “body intelligence” or “body awareness” will naturally and gently lead you into positions that progressively stretch out and release the “tight zones.”

After a little time with this, you will begin to realize that these “tight zones” are not just physical tightness, or stress from your job or work environment, but that they reflect “emotional stuff.” Let the feelings come up, notice that certain feelings are connected with certain tight or “held” sensations in your body.

Just getting to this stage is a very big step. I won’t suggest any more to you in this letter — but do know that this is one threshold to a self-awareness pathway, and there are evolutions you can make from here.

Back to our original theme, though, of what to do with your “found time” that you get by practicing “entertainment abstinance.”

I recommend getting started on Christmas. (This assumes that you’re reading this letter in early autumn, where Christmas is still several months off.) Make your Christmas card list(s). Find some leftover cards from last year, or stock up early for this year, and start putting in the shortest of messages and writing addresses. (Or if you are terribly on-top-of-things, get your computer database organized and updated.)

Make up your “naughty or nice” list, and start thinking about who gets what. If you harbor any fantasies, whatsoever, about handmaking Christmas gifts or cards this year, get them done now — in the all-too-brief time-warp between Labor Day and Veteran’s Day. By Thanksgiving, it’s too late. The holiday season is in full swirl, and you will be pressed just to keep up — if you are participating at all.

Alternatively, do your semi-annual wardrobe review. Start cleaning and putting away your summer things, identifying what you can make work for “late-summer- transitioning-to-early-autumn,” and take a look at your fall / winter wardrobe.

What do you need? What really has to be replaced or upgraded? What has to be mended? (Another opportunity for meditation, if you are so inclined. Otherwise, find a dry cleaner with a good alterations lady, or see if you have a friend who will barter mending / alterations for something you want to offer.)

Final suggestion — take a Saturday morning, go to a flea market, thrift store, or series of garage / estate sales. (The latter options are especially predominant in fall.) Get stuff that you like, that works for you, but needs either clean-up, fix-up, painting, or mending. On the way home, or very early on Sunday, stop by the hardware store or crafts store and get what you need. Spend the rest of the day on your fix-up project.

Who knows? You could wind up with deeper insights (a scary proposition), a more relaxed and in-tune body, a “together” fall wardrobe (amazing thought), or a cooler, neater, more fun and charming place in which to live!

Bon vivant, darling! – Alay’nya

“Create Your Tranquility by Organizing Your Life” – A Letter

July, 2007

My Dearest Darling God(dess) Daughter –

Some time ago (and forgive your Goddess-mother on this, she’s had to install new software, which takes her an unduly long time) — you asked a simple and basic question: “What do I do now with my life?”

Very simple. Very straightforward. And so to-the-point.

And in terms of an answer, I punted. I pointed you to Rainer Marie Rilke’s book, Letters to a Young Poet. (And actually sent you a copy, along with buying one for myself — so that I’d know what this book was recommending to you.)

The essence of Rilke’s teaching was, “Know yourself. Take time for yourself. Embrace solitude, as you need this to know YOU.” Which in your case, I know, is much easier said than done. You have recently graduated, and are the mother of three active young children, each of whom has special demands on your time.

In the midst of all the hullabaloo — and stress — of your life, and the magnificent miracle that you are, having cared so well for your children in addition to graduating, as well as working and getting funding for school, marriage and moving several times — you have rarely, since you were much younger, have had time just for you!

And so while it would be easy, and much too “prescriptive,” to say: “Go, do this. Do that. This will bring your life into order, and give you peace, happiness, and serenity” — we know this would not work. Your answer for yourself must, and will, evolve from within you.

So much that this answer may feel awkward and uncomfortable to you, let me reiterate: Spend the time getting to know yourself. Rilke had it right. Solitude is necessary. And since you cannot get solitude in large chunks, given your life situation, you must therefore obtain it in very thin slices. However you get it, and you must, strategize for it, work for it, plan for it, and by all means — take advantage of every opportunity to have some time alone with yourself.

Of course, you will get a job. And my hat is off to you, BIG KUDOS, that you got your degree in math and computer science. Your mother had gifts in these areas, as I do, and I am SO PROUD OF YOU for having stuck in there with the tough coursework, the labs, and the total “rigor” of that area. You’ve done a very tough and demanding thing, and now as you get a chance to look back on what you’ve done, you can sense that you can be proud of yourself. You should be!

In terms of first “professional” job, it almost doesn’t matter what you select — something that makes at least modest use of your skills, is within your commuting range, pays you well, and offers good benefits is a starting point. Just keep in mind that your first job is only a starting point; it is a “placeholder,” something to keep you going while you find out what you REALLY want. And that, actually, is the REAL job in your life right now.

This letter is not about organizing your money or your life — although it might seem like that. Rather, it is about establishing a framework that allows you to organize your life.

1. Get your life into as much “basic alignment” as possible, in order to create some “clear space” for you to have for yourself. This means: Get a job, preferably one that meets the above criteria and ALSO has reasonable hours and reasonable demands on your time. Unless you really and truly want to experience the “start-up” lifestyle, this might NOT be the time to join a start-up company, or any company that would expect exhorbitant overtime. Also, look for a manager who is sane and sound, and reasonable in terms of his or her expectations. Look for a situation where the co-workers are also sane and sound, and at least moderately pleasant. Should any of these requirements fail, keep moving. Don’t stay in a toxic environment, keep moving until you are in a sane and sound and clear one.

2. Use the money from this job to buy yourself time for yourself. This is a necessity in making headway with getting your family to the best level possible, and getting the most “performance” out of everyone — including yourself! (Performance includes downtime, by the way. Think of it as “scheduled maintenance and repair.”) Hire someone to help with the kids; even if you are there also, this person can take up slack — from feeding the baby to mopping up the floor after you and she feed the baby. Find someone who can pick up groceries and prepare a simple meal, help with the housework, sort mail, entertain the kids when you’ve had a long day, and in short, do anything that can ease your stress level and give you a few minutes of blessed time. Hire a housekeeping (maid) service. REALLY. You’re going to be working 9-5, plus some. There’s commute time, there’s household organization and management, there’s being a wife, and a mom. There is very little time for dusting in between. You are now at “Officer” rank, you are the General Manager of your Household. Delegate As Much As Possible (AMAP). Find someone (a college student, another mom who will bring her child over and take care of some of this, or even a for-real au pair) who will be your “right hand.” This person needs to be reliable, even-tempered and even-keeled, able handle a moderate amount of responsibility and make good simple decisions, and able to handle a moderate amount of stress. This person’s role is to decrease your work level, not add to it.

3. Do as much as possible to simplify and streamline your life. Take the time to set this up right; it will pay you well in the near future. Get as many bills as possible to be paid online. Get a day-planner with inserts (so you can insert lists and special topics pages). Now, if ever, is a good time to invest in one of the well-known brands that offers an educational service in how to get the most from “day-planning.” In addition to values, goals, “weekly tasks,” and daily goals, think ahead to longer-term events: holidays, Christmases, etc. Set up a savings account for Christmas; put in a regular amount each month; that is your Christmas budget and no more! (You’ll never go over-budget again.) And actually — now that you’re getting a job, make a budget. Make two, in fact — one for time, one for money. This will help you value your time more. Plan and prepare as much in advance as you possibly can for birthdays, holidays, gift-giving. Think through your Christmas strategy starting NOW (yes, in July) — who gets cards? Who gets gifts? What can you start NOW that will make your life easier? Think through a strategy that is reasonably low-cost, you can do in some bulk, and (for those who get gifts) is totally consistent with your budget and the time that you are willing to put in to this. If you can have all of your basic preparations lined up by — say, Columbus Day (knowing that you’ll spill over up to Thanksgiving), then the holiday season is yours to enjoy. Plan ahead similarly for other big life events — e.g., if you and your family want a vacation next year.

4. Cultivate routines that structure your life. This means that you have known time to do certain tasks, and known time that is yours for family, and known time that is just for you. One of the biggest “routines” is food preparation: Revisit how you do the food shopping for the family; can you find the “smart line” between eating out at fast foods (low quality and expensive) versus making everything from scratch? Take advantage of the “middle ground” – foods that are somewhat prepared, like pre-cut veggies, pre-made salad mixes, things that cut your preparation time down to less than a half hour.

Planning and preparation will reduce your stress. So designate one time each week for cleaning out the fridge, checking the food sales, and making menu plans. Designate another time for food shopping. (Biggest hits right after payday, smaller fill-in purchases weekly or semi-weekly thereafter.) Plan this to be a LONG day. Buy your foods in bulk when you can. For example, if you buy several huge packages of chicken on sale, or a big package of hamburger, divvy it up as soon as you get home, and freeze what you can. You might even get very ambitious and plan on cutting up fruits and veggies as soon as you get them in. Make best possible use of your freezer, and see about getting a free-standing one — especially useful when you have a family. Then, designate a third time or day to prep food for the week ahead. If you cook on the weekends, try to make one dish for the family to eat, another to freeze and reheat or bake later. On the weekends, think about dishes that will give you easy leftovers for the first part of the week. Also, start dishes that take several days to prepare — e.g., those that involve slow-cooking beans. (At the end of this letter, I give two of my favorite “family meal” prep ideas.)

5. Organize everything that has to do with what you and the family wear. One thing that works is to schedule one day a week to be “wash day. ” I know this sounds very old-school / old-song, but order brings harmony. Lack of order (planning, and imposing some structure on the family) brings chaos. One day to wash, fold, put away. As you do this, plan what both you and the kids will wear on what day. Organize accordingly. (They can help with all of this as they get older.) Make a mending pile, and schedule a time to get to it. Schedule time (one child per month, or all every quarter, however you do it) to go through their stuff; what is outgrown is shared with a neighbor or given to Goodwill. Once a month or so, hit your favorite thrift stores for “broken in” clothing for YOUR kids. It’s just the universe of recycling.

6. Use Sunday evening to final-prep for the week ahead. One good tactic is to do wardrobe layout for the entire week ahead.Check the weather. Make sure that you have your work wardrobe organized, purses chosen, lipstick in the first one you’ll use, lip liner freshly “sharpened,” enough money and small change for the week ahead. If you are keeping track of expenses (and I recommend the “little notebook” approach), do your catch-ups. Everyone finds their books / bags. Preload the car AMAP. Cell phones should have been charged over the weekend; they go into purses / briefcases, etc. Notes get written to whomever is working for you, checks to cleaning crew are made out. All of this is DONE, out-of-the-way, and accomplished. You are the “General,” you are “marshalling your forces.” Your Monday morning, and all mornings for the week ahead, should be smooth. Do a final check of the wall calendar and your day-planner for events that need some organization, money, or planning. Plan who will do and cover what with hubby and your “right hand,” whomever that might be.

7. Invest what you’ve saved by being diligent and organized. You can save a good bit of money by having your family brown-bag their lunches. By Sunday evening, everyone has lunch money, or packed lunch. (If you can afford the space, get a separate fridge for lunches. You can always pick up an extra fridge for very small dollars. Even a small-sized fridge can help. Make this a priority, because it will make getting out in the morning easier. Which makes the rest of the day easier. Which makes the rest of your life easier, and creates more time for you.) Packing becomes a “family affair.” You might pick one evening a week where you get the kids to help pre-pack lunch items. Write names on a week’s worth of bags. Pre-fill with trail mix in little snack bags, wrapped cheese sticks, apples, tiny wrapped chocolate candies, etc. Then, every day or every two days, make sandwiches, and load up the bags the night before. (See if you can start teaching hubby and kids to do this while you are getting dinner on the table.)

Your Reward: Serenity — it is rewarding in and of itself. But beyond that, give yourself both financial and time rewards for being focused and diligent and organized. In the sense of “paying yourself first,” take the money that you normally would have spent on one delivered pizza or Chinese meal and put into a piggy bank, or the real bank, in a savings account that you do not use. Have an IRA with your bank. Periodically, add all of this to your IRA. Similarly, estimate what you’re saving by brown-bagging lunches, put into an IRA. Or into a separate fund designated “downpayment on house” or “vacation.”

Also, take the “minutes” that you saved by cooking meals in advance. Those are also yours. Hire a sitter to be with the kids, and get out of the house – either alone or with your darling. You’ve earned it! If you go out alone, take your journal. Go to a decent little coffee shop, muse and write for a while. Or get yourself out early on Sunday, have a cappucino and a little breakfast by yourself. This is your reward for being diligent and organized. (If you must — pre-load a Sunday breakfast for all, get that all organized so you can slip out for a little bit on Sunday mornings while they get up and have whatever you’ve set out for them. Return only when you’ve had sufficient “you time” to tide you over for a while.)

Note that having a “support team” — a good babysitter / mother’s helper / au pair, a cleaning lady, and a certain amount of “easy-to-fix” food, etc., is a necessary and justafiable budget expense. This is not a luxury, this is a necessity to having a job, managing your family, and having a well-run home. If anything, develop an additional income source — one that will make you wealthier. But recognize and budget in the people to help you, even as you do “smart things” that reduce expenses (e.g., for meals) in other ways. These “smart things” are also bringing a better quality to your life, and increasing your serenity.

I am so envisioning you enjoying not only your first “professional job,” but also enjoying the increased sense of competence and control in having your life run more smoothly —

Love – Alay’nya

P.S. — Having done this for most of the past several years, I have been moving on to a deeper and more comprehensive set of strategies, that I will write to you about in the next letter. But it is an organizational framework such as this that allows greater levels of strategy to happen. I love you! Be well. I am thinking about you, and sending love in your direction.

“Empower Your Dance through Core Conditioning” – A Letter

March, 2007

My Dearest Darling God(dess) Daughter –

The days are definitely longer. I’m writing to you in the very early morning, and noticing — just two weeks before we “spring” our clocks ahead, that it is much lighter in the early morning hours, and that daylight thankfully persists just a little longer in the evening. And even though we just had a heavy snow last night, it will melt off today — in contrast to the snowstorm that we had just two weeks ago, which left snow and ice that lasted for a full week.

In short, spring is on its way. Even though it is still cold outside, and still winter, our bodies are beginning to “wake up” to the new year.

We celebrate the arrival of spring — even the arrival of “pre-spring” — in many ways. For a week now, I’ve been having “closet-cleaning fantasies.” I envision closets that have been completely emptied, cleansed as far back as the darkest crevices and corners, are freshly painted with charming, soft, feminine colors, and are then re-filled with clothes, shoes, and accessories, all easy-to-see, easy-to-reach. I envision creating wonderful new outfits simply by being more creative with what I already have — and of course, shopping for and wearing new spring clothes.

And nothing, of course, is more inspiring for getting fit and trim to wear these new clothes than watching Oscar night, and seeing all of our “goddesses” on stage — didn’t they look fantastic? And totally fit; they were all wearing “pour-on” dresses with not an extra ounce of flab detracting from their marvelous waistlines. (So maybe some of those gowns had boning — it’s the fantasy that counts!)

As any of us in the dance world — or performance world of any sort — know already, (quoting my favorite muse, Elsa Schiaparelli, “Fantasy Requires Determination.” We can make magic happen. It just requires incredible hard work, focus, and determination. As well as style, panache, a sense of fearlessness, and numerous other Diva qualities. The exhilarating “lift” of Oscar night, or performamce night for any of us, is backed by countless hours and days, and often months and years, of “backstage labor,” simply the work involved in any creative activity — not to mention perfecting our craft.

When we want to create fantasy through our dance, draw on two aspects that give us our fundamentals; our “craft” as dancers. The first is the very intrinsic, internal, connection with our bodies and their alignment, with the very subtle body/energy connections. This is a very inward or “yin” practice. (See letters from December, January, and February.)

But now we are feeling that transition into spring, and we are becoming more “yang” — more external and goal-oriented, more wanting to get things done — beginning with making changes in ourselves. And if we’ve been putting off exercise, we now suddenly feel motivated.

Pragmatically, let me encourage you towards core conditioning.

When you develop strong abs, and can separately and independently control the different muscle layers, and also separately control the different portions of each different layer (e.g., upper abdominal muscles distinctly from lower, etc.), then you will find that your body discovers in itself the “belly dance” aspect of belly dance. You will find that abdominal muscles will suggst little choreography movements to you. And even the techniques that you’ve done for a while will take on a new “springiness,” a new sense of uplift and energy. Heavens, you’ll even find that you walk up the stairs with greater ease!

Similarly, when you start conditioning your buttocks and thighs, you’ll find that not only will your pelvic work improve, but your step combinations will be easier; both lighter and more powerful at the same time.

My dance friends who work out, and do strength training and cardio training in addition to their dance practice, all report that they have more endurance for their dance, as well as better overall performance.

All of this is a necessary and powerful aspect of your Level 1 training. As you transition to Level 2 work, you will find that you make much greater progress with “relaxing and releasing” when your core muscles are strong and can support you. It is then much easier for you to release other muscles, and to release overall tension. And like a tigress, you will feel that the increased sense of power that you get from a toned, strong body gives you the confidence to be more relaxed and supple.

I find that my ability to do Level 3 energy cultivation work is very connected with my overall level of physical strength and conditioning. This is at least in part because we can use our abdominal muscles to pulsate an “overlay” on top of our basic undulation vocabulary. This has some interesting effects! Also, when we can control our lower diaphragm muscles, we not only build a greater “floor” supporting our abdominal-area organs, but can “contain” the energy that we cultivate so much more. (Yes, literally “prana-bindu” .)

You may wish to turn your attention to the rising energy, or “increasing yang,” of springtime. If so, please pay particular attention to your own perception of energy shifts as we approach and go through Vernal Equinox, followed shortly by Easter or Ostra’s Day. This is a good time to experiment with taking the new spring energy into your choreographies, and even into your dance improvisation.

Love – Alay’nya

P.S. — Having done this for most of the past several years, I have been moving on to a deeper and more comprehensive set of strategies, that I will write to you about in the next letter. But it is an organizational framework such as this that allows greater levels of strategy to happen. I love you! Be well. I am thinking about you, and sending love in your direction.

“Energy Shifting in the New Year” – A Letter

February, 2007

Dear Ones –

Have you noticed an “energy shift” within yourself over just the past month?

Recall, if you will, that only four months ago, you may have been in a very “internal” state. Certainly, you got up and went to work — at least most days. You did what you needed to do for “life mainenance.” And as you recovered from the holiday season, and took a look at your bills, you probably made some “resolutions” about becoming more “on focus” with your financial life for this year.

Similarly, as you felt a little sluggish, and noticed a few extra pounds, you similarly resolved to “go on a diet” and “exercise more.”

And perhaps, as you contemplated the “pile-up” of things that you might have glossed over during summer — but are now much too evident in your home — you say to yourself, “This is it. This year, I have to get organized!”

During the deepest, darkest part of winter — during January — is not the time to make dramatic changes, no matter what our “New Year’s Resolutions” may suggest. But it is time to build some awareness and intention about what our desires really may be for this coming year.

Referring back to the “yin/yang” symbolism we considered in last month’s letter; even though we saw the birthing of “yang,” or outward-moving energy at the winter solstice, it was not yet formed. And it shouldn’t be. Deep winter is a time of energetic retreat and withdrawal, not of moving forward.

But even in the midst of winter, we see a renewal of life-force energy. We feel this as inspiration, and as desire.

Witch Hazel in Bloom; courtesy http://www.pbase.com/hjsteed/foliage_witch_hazel

Do you sense that these various resolutions, or intentions, have a common theme? Think about it. In one sense or another, they all have to do with cleansing, or purification. And while we may form these intentions in a sort of loose, disassociated way in January — in a way that reflects a dis-satisfaction with life as it is — we typically get the energy to “do something” in early February.

As we’ll note throughout the year, the inner sensings that we have often correspond to the ancient cycle of yearly celebrations and festivals. The festival honoring the energy-shift of early February is Imbolc , also known as Candlemas. If you research this festival, you’ll find that purification was a dominant theme. Then, as you reflect on your “New Year’s Resolutions,” you might realize that they all share in this common theme of “cleansing” — your home, your diet (perhaps even your physical body, through purifying tonics and healthier foods, and your overall energy patterns (another reason that we decide on an exercise program right about now). This even extends to “cleaning up” your finances, refocusing your business endeavors, and cleaning out clutter in all its forms.

You may find that this purification energy actually starts around Imbolc (traditionally, February 1st – 2nd), and really builds throughout the month. You might start with going back to the gym, or picking up an extra dance class. You might start with cleaning out just one box overflowing with “junk mail.” And you will find that near the end of the month, as the days are definatively longer and we start seeing true signs of spring, that your energy and intentions are becoming very strong!

If you are a Level 1 practitioner, you may desire to really immerse yourself into this art, and progress energetically as well as physicall. If this is so, start to pay more attention to the feelings in your body as you do your practice. Allow yourself some times when you slow your practice down, and just feel how your body wants to go. Also, begin to pay more attention to how you are responding to the energy shifts in the world around you. The large, sun-cycle, annual rhythms that I’m writing about now are the most overt, and hence the easiest, to tap into. Perhaps you want to keep a journal, and start noting how your energies are changing with the rhythm of the seasons. Over a period of two to three years, you will gain much more sensitivity — and much more capability — for working with seasonal energies in a relaxed and harmonious way.

If you are a Level 2 practitioner, this may be a time for you to develop greater clarity with your art. I recommend that you cultivate two kinds of “base” practices; one internal, and the other external. Your external practice is what you have been doing all along; going to class, practicing at home, getting more technique, refinement, focus, and clarity. This is where you engage your mind, actively studying music and developing choregraphies. The easiest thing about your external practice is that no matter how busy you are, it is relatively easy to schedule and track, because you feel that you are “doing something.” At the end of a session, you know that you have “accomplished something,” whether it is technique drill, core conditioning, or developing your latest dance.

In contrast, your internal practice may feel as though you aren’t doing anything. This could be a challenge, if you are used to measuring yourself in terms of how much you accomplish each day.

For those seeking to cultivate Level 3 capabilities, this is the best time — energetically — to start energy cultivation experiences, and to mesh them with the quiet time of dark winter, when it is easiest to do energy sensing.

Those who are doing a Level 4 practice will draw upon the nascent energy formation that we have in deepest winter, just before spring, to do very powerful internal work. This is a time for building what those in alchemical traditions call the “bud-will.”

For all of us, let’s remember that the practice of these different Levels is not meant to be an ego-thing. This morning, I took a half-hour of quiet time to do a Level 2 awareness and sensitivity practice, just “listening” to my spine and breathing with it. This afternoon, as we start a new Beginner’s class, I will be doing my own Level 1 practice even as I teach the Beginners. Level 3 can sometimes fit into an office day, doing a moment of energy-gathering before a big meeting. And while it is this dark and quiet, I sometimes find it useful to go to bed very early on a weekend evening, and get up – literally – in the middle of the night for some Level 4 “quiet time.”

And as an aside, for those of us who are at or are approaching a “certain age” — and who find themselves waking up in the middle of the night whether you want to or not — consider that this may be one way that your body is introducing you to a wisdom path.

Love to all – Alay’nya

“”Moving Inwards ” – A Letter

January, 2007

Dear Ones –

Are you enjoying the calm and quiet of the “dark time”? After the whirlwind of Christmas; the decorating, the parties, the shopping, the cards, the gift-giving and gift-receiving, and the family social time — and the aftermath; the post-holiday sale-shopping, and gift-exchanging, you finally have time to breathe. To sit, to be quiet, to be still. Isn’t it lovely?

We are blessed, right now, with a time in which little is demanded of us. Or rather, any expectations are more self-imposed than coming from the outside. Unless we are dramatically into winter sports, or enjoy going out on dark, snowy evenings, we can actually find ourselves with some too-good-to-be-real “quiet time.” And “quiet time” is the essence of the season.

Now, with no one to bother us, we can take stock. This is not so much forming our “New Year’s resolutions,” because our energy for moving forward is not ready yet. But we have, in the midst of dark, cold winter, a time in which to take note and contemplate.

This is a good time to turn inward.

You may notice that your “turning inward” right now has a different qualitative feel from the previous two months. The time leading up to winter solstice is, despite our holiday overlay, a time for deep introversion. In contrast, the time just post the solstice has a more energetic quality to it, a sense of quiescent “liveliness.” The energy is not yet “realized,” this is not yet an “action” time — but you can sense the forming of an energy in your psyche, in your life.

If you recall the symbolism of the “yin/yang” symbol, you recall that within the center of “yin,” there is the small element, or essence, of “yang,” and likewise within the center of “yang,” there is the beginning of “yin.”

Yin and Yang

As we sense how this appears in our own lives, we can feel the energetic truth of this wisdom. We can sense that even when our lives are very quiet, and the days are still very dark, we get an intuition of the energy that will soon emerge. And often, our awareness or sensitivity is enhanced during the long, dark hours of winter. We have an increased ability to “sense” what it is that we desire and wish to create in the coming year.

So for each of us, we can commune with this “dark time” and begin gathering our intention, if not yet our energy, for the forward momentum of spring.

We have the best opportunity to shape an energy when it is just beginning to form. This is why people intuitively make resolutions for the “new year” right after the winter solstice. This is also why our culture chooses to start our “new year” at this timer.

Take care of your health. Eat wisely and well. Eat, as much as you can, vegetables that are appropriate for the season. Since many winter vegetables are dense, or starchy, or a little bitter, they often require more cooking than will the delicate spring greens and vegetables a few months from now. Do slow roasts, and use your crockpot or slow cooker. The scents of rich food flavors will comfort and encourage you.

While salads and some raw foods are still appropriate, even in mid-winter, take care to cut your raw veggies into smaller pieces, and to dress them well. (In fact, this is a good time to experiment with some richer or more flavorful salad dressings.) Try to let your salads get a little warmer in winter; cold raw foods are a bit of a shock to your system right now.

While it is always important to drink water, consider making a little drink of hot water poured over a sliced or squeezed lime or lemon. It will taste better, and the warmth will also help comfort your system. Also, drink herbal teas.

Stretch as much as you can. Emphasize stretching, and taking note of how your body feels, more than trying to push yourself into extreme exercise. At the same time, core conditioning, strength training, and cardio will all boost both your mood and metabolism.

Get out during the middle of the day. Take a walk, or use your lunch break to just get outside and do a quick errand. Try to connect with sunshine, as much as you possibly can.

Winter is an especially good time to review your dance CD and DVD collection. Do you have enough music to work out at home? Do you have some good vids/DVDs, so that you can practice? Do you have some performance DVDs of artists who will inspire you? Make some careful selections, and build up your collection.

Now is also a great time to review your dance costumes and practice “gear.” This is one of the very few times of the year when you will have time for the quiet, gentle arts of sewing and beading. Check everything, from the elastic on your zills (and in your costumes) to hems, beads, and sequins. Make a list of what you need, and give yourself a little outing to get supplies. Make it easy for yourself to spend some quiet evenings at home, getting everything together for the new year.

If you have not been journaling lately, now is a great time to start! I so strongly encourage and recommend The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron. If there was one book that I would suggest to friends as a start for winter reading, this would be it.

One of my favorite books for starting the new year is The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. It is a lovely and loving way to nourish your creativity and inner passion.

Click on The Artist’s Way
The Artist’s Way to go to the Barnes and Noble website to order this book.

As you do your journaling, your intentions will become increasingly clear. Let yourself write about what you want. At the same time, start collecting pictures, from magazines and any source that appeals to you. You will have some snowy, “stuck-in-the-house” days in January, February, and March. These will be ideal times in which to create “image scrapbooks,” where your selection of pictures is a a way for your “right brain;” your artistic, wonderful, art-child brain — who doesn’t normally speak in words — to communicate with your “conscious self” in pictures. The two together — journaling and picture-scrapbooking — make a wonderful way for the different “sides” of you to connect on what it is that your really, really want.

You might consider shopping for a special journal where you can use both pictures and written lists or “bullet points” of what you want to create. As you write things down (maybe on special, pretty paper that you can paste into your journal), and embellish with pictures or even little drawings, you create a stronger “visualization” and “intention.” The beauty of this is that when you look back, several months from now, you will be amazed at how much of what you desire has manifested in your life.

Plan now to go through your special “visualization” journals at different times later this year, so that you can note what has appeared in your life, and how easily it has come to you. (I like to put little sticker “stars” in my journal as desires come true for me. Sometimes I decorate or embellish those things that I really want. That way, as they come true, I get an extra visual impact when I put “sticker stars” near them.) This way, we can reinforce to ourselves that our desires and intentions really do have power. This reminds us to keep our thoughts very clean and clear, because our thoughts — together with our desires or our “wanting” of something — do have the power to create reality.

Enjoy this beautiful dark time. Enjoy creating a sense of desire for what it is that you really, really would like to have in your life. It is the strength and clarity of your desire that will bring what you want to you — not your “work,” or “resolve,” or “discipline.” It is the joyful, fun-ful, delightful sense of anticipation, of absolutely reveling in the deliciousness of what you want, what you intend to create. You have the ability, through your desire, to magnetically draw things, events, people, and experiences into your life.

Have a wonderful year. I will be thinking of you.

Love to all – Alay’nya

Transitioning to the New Season of the Year

In the dark quiet of the year, we recognize that we are ready — ready to move on. We may not do the actual work of transitioning for a couple of months yet — real “movement” tends to start in early February.

But right now, some of you are saying to yourselves, “I’m ready. I’m ready for the next step.”

Take this quietest month to go inward, and simply create and shape your will towards this intention. By using the quiet time, the dark time, in which to formulate your will, you generate much more power as you bring events into alignment with intention over this coming year.

Some of you may be ready for Level Two, and some for Level Three. Some of you may just be beginning.

Either way, my thoughts are with you.

Be safe, be well. And for Level Two players, read the December Letter.

love to all –

Alay’nya

LETTER FROM ALAY’NYA – November, 2006

“GATHERING IN: Preparing for the Holiday Season” – A First Year Series Letter

November, 2006

Dear Ones –

“Gathering Your Energy”

This is the time of falling leaves, of nippy mornings, and of the last harvest for the year. This is a sacred time, and a powerful time. “All Hallowed E’en” (Halloween) and the “Feast of All Souls” are cultural markers that have come to us through the overlay of Christian holy days. In reality, these festival days connect us to our deeper history, and to a time when we were more attuned to the rhythms of life and living.

Through strange coincidence, our current time has given us a single hour “between the worlds;” when we set the clocks back an hour on the last Sunday of October. It is in this hour that I am writing to you.

If you are focusing on your Level 1 practice, or grounding, then this is a special time for you. Your “grounding” practice ties in very much to the energy at this time of the year.

Even experienced practitioners will come back to Level 1, or grounding emphasis, from time to time. After more than twenty-five years of dance, and many prior years of martial arts practice, I still need to “re-group and re-ground” from time to time. And so I’ll come back to Level 1, and start from the beginning.

A smart way for us to be more grounded right now is to take note of how we are organizing our daily lives. If we were squirrels, we could simply harvest nuts! If we wear bears, we’d look for a nice place to hole up for the winter. But as humans — in today’s society — we are looking at a time of increased activity throughout the holidays. This puts a stress on both our bodies and psyches. So the smart thing, the grounded thing, to do is to focus on practices that will give us an energy boost that will carry us through not only the holiday season, but also the first part of winter.

These are some things that will help:
Get enough water: It is too easy to start taking in too many sweet drinks (e.g., hot chocolate), but our bodies need water to maintain high physical and mental energy levels. I’m trying to prepare a mug of water with lime or lemon in it at night, so it is the first thing that I drink in the morning. I’m also making a point of having lime-water available during workouts, and on my desk during the day. And even though I love hot tea with honey, I’m making a solemn promise to myself to have at least one to two glasses of hot lime water for every cup of tea! (Surprisingly, there is another benefit — I’ve been told that even though the lime or lemon water is a little pH-acidic, it actually helps our stomach operate at a more alkaline pH, which is desirable for digestion. Good habit!)
Re-organize your life to give yourself exercise time: We’re at that critical point between summer play-time, and the frantic pre-holiday shopping. Take advantage of the moment by simplifying as much as you can, scaling back where possible, and re-focusing on getting daily exercise. Because I’m a morning person, I find that getting up ultra-early and having two and a half hours for “private practice” is ideal. This gives me a half hour for journaling, and two hours for a morning work-out routine that includes yoga, fresh fruit and veggie juicing, core conditioning and working with weights, a little cardio, and all the things that comprise a well-rounded physical regime. Towards the end, I make a smoothie using a recipe that Linda H. of Healthways taught me, consisting of blended banana, soy milk, kefir yogurt, protein powder, and berries or other in-season fruit. This helps me take in supplements, especially the ones that require a little something in your tummy, such as Omega-3 oils. And this kind of early-morning schedule requires going to bed early, which is a lifestyle commitment. You might not be an early-morning person; this whole idea might be intolerable — or impractical — for you. But using this as an idea, see what you can do to get more workout time in your life, and more attention to your diet, emphasizing fresh foods and veggies!
Get more sunshine: It is easy to get out and get some uplifting sun-rays during summer time. At this time of year, though, we need to make a special effort. Try to take a lunchtime walk on sunny days. Pack comfortable walking shoes, and pants if needed, or keep a set at work so you can change and get out for some brisk movement. The sunshine will be a mood-lifter and help your body produce Vitamin D. The exercise will help invigorate your day and help you ride over the afternoon “sludge” period. If it is rainy, consider a walk in a nearby mall or food store (breathe in produce and flower scents!), or visit your favorite tanning salon (load up with SPFs before, especially on face and neck, and be careful not to overdo — but the tanning rays will have a feel-good effect when you’re dealing with multiple rainy days.

You might consider adopting any or all of these suggestions for the next three weeks (between Samhain and Thanksgiving), as it takes three weeks to establish a new habit. Also, if you are really motivated to build up the crest of your “energy wave,” then you might write down a daily affirmation (ten times each day!) that reinforces your intention for an energized body, mind, and psyche.

Love to all – Alay’nya

P.S. At Level 1, you will be concentrating on getting your life together – on “getting grounded” – in many ways. And Level 2 will have you processing lots of “stuff” to help you realize your power, starting in Levels 3 and 4. But you can start now to practice your reality-creation powers by envisioning a mid-winter cheer-up trip; something you can do after the holiday rush has quieted down. Whatever it is that would delight you most — from a trip to someplace warm and sunny, to a ski vacation, or a home redecorating project, think now of what would give you greatest pleasure. Start now to collect pictures, information, and anything that will help you visualize yourself experiencing what you would like — regardless of budget or other “life practicalities.” Just for the fun of it. Forget being practical, let yourself imagine, and put yourself into the situation. We’ll see where this will take you three to four months from now.

P.S. For a great core-training DVD, visit “The Fitness Pharaoh”

LETTER FROM ALAY’NYA – July, 2004

CREATING PERSONAL STYLE

July, 2004

Dear Ones –

“The Diva Style Pages”

One of my favorite books – and one that I keep recommending to all my girlfriends – is I am Diva! by Elena Bates, Maureen O’Crean, Molly Thompson, and Carilyn Vaile. This is a wonderful book, and is divided into 13 Sections, of four chapters each – so there are a total of 52 chapters to get you through a year-long Diva Self-Creation program.

What is so absolutlely wonderful about this book, and the approach it advocates, is that it gives us permission to treat things that seem “frivolous” as with as much importance as we give to “serious” matters. One such “frivolous” matter that is of truly great importance is personal style.

Lately, I’ve been clearing out my closet again. This is one of those Diva exercises. It is also a great way to achieve clarity, not just in our closet, and our style, but also in our lives.

During the closet-cleaning process, and general life-clean-up, I remembered something a life-coach had once said to me: “Strengthen your strengths.”

So often, we pay too much attention to things that we think of as being deficiencies. We feel a little less-than-perfect, and we feel that we need to compensate for our lack of skill or ability in some area by “developing” that area further.

What if instead of putting attention on a weakness, we played to our strengths?

This connects directly with our sense of personal style.

I was in a fabric store over the weekend, and noticed how my eye was drawn to so many luscious colors, textures, patterns, and fabrics. But because I have spent years getting to know not only “my colors,” but also my patterns, textures, silhouettes, and a whole range of other things about personal style, I was able to say to some of these fabrics, “I love you, I wish I could wear you, but no thank you.” At at the same time, I had a heightened response to those very few fabrics that were absolutely, totally, perfectly right for me.

Each of us is like this. Each of us is so precisely and individually unique! As we get increasingly clear about our own personal style, we can say with greater confidence and finesse, a gracious “No, thank you,” to things that are close – but not absolutely perfect. And at the same time, we gain the ability to say a resounding, “Yes, oh-you-are-so-wonderful, Oh YES! Come right in!” to those very select and special things that really do match us perfectly.

The more that we are clear about our style, and accept only that which suits us perfectly, the more that we are also clear about the rest of our lives. We accept (or “shop for”) only those work assignments, friends, and places to live that perfectly match our sense of self. We become magnets. We easily, naturally, and unconsciously dispel that which is not-so-right. while with equal ease and amplomb we draw to ourselves that which absolutely perfect!

Cleaning out is an important preliminary step. (This is one of those Diva steps someplace in the book – shortly I will look up exactly where.) Cleaning out gives us clarity, because we are not distracted by the confusion of multiple, competing stimuli. We might go down to a scarily small amount, but it will be perfect and just oh-so-very-right for us!

Getting very, VERY clear and precise about our colors is another important step. If you haven’t had a professional color analysis done, do so! The easiest and most satisfying way that I’ve recommended to friends is to go to the Prescriptives(TM) cosmetics counter in a good department store, and let the consultant make you over. (For free. Divas love a good bargain!) She (or he) will type your skin tone; you will be either a blue-red (most of us are), a red-red (rare), or an orange-red or a yellow-orange. (The last two are not as common as the blue-reds, but much more so than the red-reds.)

If you are a blue-red, then your skin has an underlying blue cast to it. You will look your best in cool tones, such as blues, most purples, and blue-reds (such as magenta, burgandy, and rose). You will look much better in silver or white gold jewelry than in yellow-toned metalsr.

If you are an orange-red or yellow-orange, then you will look good in warm tones that pick up on the underlying yellow cast of your skin. You will be able to wear peach, cinnamon, and olive green. You might be one of the few persons that could possibly look good in mustard yellow. You can wear yellow gold and copper.

Now, color analysis is much more complex and subtle than this, but this is a starter, and you will get a good sense of your colors within just a few hours after your visit to the cosmetics consultant. (Oh yes, please buy something – like a foundation that they’ll match to your precise skin tone. It’s just the gracious Diva’s way of saying “thank you.”)

I’ll add some more references to color analysis, personal style, and related matters to our Transformations page. Also, if you’re in class, please do ask me for a free copy of “Every Woman Needs a Veil,” a chapter excerpt from Unveiling, my book-in-forever-progress.

Getting clear on your personal style – and upgrading your style to the best possible – is a magical act. It is a very poignant and powerful way of creating reality; the reality that you most desire. So get the book. Do the steps. Take as long as you need, do them in whatever order seems best, but get going – and be ready to tell wonderful stories as your life unfolds!

With love – A.

P.S. – These “wonderful stories” that you’re going to tell? They’re brags! That’s right. We have permission to brag. The other book that I recommend to all my girlfriends is Mama Gena’s Guide to the Womanly Arts. And there is a link to this on our Transformations page. Go now! Get these books, and let them form your summer survival reading.

One of my two most highly recommended books for first year (“Level 1”) students is I am Diva! by Elena Bates, Maureen O’Crean, Molly Thompson, and Carilyn Vaile. This month’s Letter deals with Section 7 (Chapters 29-32) of the book; the Diva Style Section. Which is a wonderful thing for our lives, and a great way to start pulling together for our November Show (Viva la Diva!).

Click on I Am Diva!: Every Woman’s Guide to Outrageous Living
I Am Diva!: Every Woman’s Guide to Outrageous Living to go to the Barnes and Noble website to order this book. Recommedation contributed by Maha Najeeb.

You can also read the complete first chapter if you can’t run out right away to get the book. But why not just hop to the page and order the book?

LETTER FROM ALAY’NYA – June, 2004

“DIVA CONSCIOUSNESS” – A First Year Series Letter

June, 2004

Dear Ones –

“Diva Consciousness”

June is the “high month” of the year. The sun shines the most. The plants are lushly green from the spring rains, fully leafed out, but not yet sere from the summer’s heat. The new birds are hatched and the animal young are birthed, and their parents toil incessently to feed hungry mouths.

In June, in the midst of summer light, we also see the germ-nucleus of the “winter-dark time.” The seeds, seedlings, and starter-plants establish their roots and fill out – we see our summer garden taking shape. But by the end of the month, we’ll make the transition from setting out new plants to watering and keeping alive those that we have. In our home, one of the young ones is preparing to leave late in summer; she’s become an adult, and is moving on to a new life stage. We’ll miss her, and we’ll reshape our lives, flowing into the space she leaves behind. But more, we’ve reached a point where nurturing a younger generation has reached its fullness. It’s not that she’ll never need us, nor want to come home again. It’s just that she’ll never need us in the same way, and she’ll be establishing a home of her own. As she moves on, we will also, each to a different stage in our lives. And just as life and growth reaches its maximal surge forward, we see the initiation of the “dark.”

And the “dark” is not a bad thing. Without the “dark times,” we would not reach deep into ourselves for our next desire, our next vision. The contrast between light and dark gives us a balance between action and reflection. And so June, more than any other month, is a time of balancing. A balancing between light and the emerging pinpoint of dark. A balance between sometimes overfilled and overflowing action with a few moments of calm and reflection. In the midst of the whirlwind of activities, we reach for occasional moments in the “eye of the storm.”

In June, as our creative energies reach their zenith, we refine how it is that we “do” our creations. We ask ourselves, “Are we becoming too feverish? Too caught up in making things happen? Are we trying to ‘do it all?'” (As I, admittedly, often do.)

Love to all – Alay’nya

LETTER FROM ALAY’NYA – May, 2004

” “GOOD ORDERLY DIRECTION” – A First Year Series Letter

May, 2004

Dear Ones –

“Good Orderly Direction”

May is a wonderful energy-ripening month! The dreams that we felt, sometimes unseen, in the dark cold months of the year coalesced into a sense of purpose, a vision, a desire for how we wanted our lives to unfold over the coming year. More than anything else, winter was the formation and nurturing of desire. With early spring, we gained energy from the sun, and all of nature sprang into joyous activity. By April, everyone and everything was focused on sex, feeling the energy infusion of “The Fertile Goddess.” The birds were doing it, the chipmunks, squirrels, and rabbits were doing it – and the plants were definately doing it – as everyone who had pollen attacks could affirm!

If April was a “spring-into-action” month, May is even more so. During April, I was equally drawn to both “spring cleaning” and gardening. During May, both desires intensified – to the exclusion of all other practicalities and commitments. But there was a shift – a subtle but real energy shift. And I re-discovered Feng Shui, the ancient Chinese art of not so much thing-placement, but energy-balancing. And this is the subject of the letters for May.

(to be continued …)

Love to all – Alay’nya