Building the Case for Pleasure – the Number One Reason Why We Study Belly Dance

How much pleasure do you feel when you play with belly dance?

Do you sense an energy surge coming up your spine when you do a figure-eight followed by an upwards draw?

When you bang out a series of percussive moves, do you get the same exuberant release that you had when you banged on pots and pans as a two-year-old?

Do you get a deep feeling that all is right with your body (and with your world) when you anchor in on one hip, and do a series of hip circles and figure eights with the other?

Hidden within each technique and within each micro-choreography – that setting of move to music, rhythm, and feeling – should be an intense, visceral source of pleasure. It might come as a jolt, or as a gentle swell. But somehow, every time that we do a belly dance move right, our bodies should respond with a deep sigh of satisfaction.

This is what we’re seeking as we dance.

Not to impress an audience. Not to turn on our husband, boyfriend, or any number of people – all to prove to ourselves how sexy and exciting we are.

And not even – although this is harder for some of us to understand – to get that feeling of a skill mastered, and a job well done.

No.

What We Really Want Is More Subtle Than We Think (Metaphysics 101: A Fast Review)

We’re after something much deeper, much more subtle, and much more intrinsic to our divine sense of overall well-being; our sense that “all is right with the world” – because all is right within ourselves.

We already know that we are each a co-creator of our own reality. We’ve gotten to that level of basic metaphysical understanding. (If this idea still seems strange or foreign to you, please go read some Abraham-Hicks material, and I’ll be adding appropriate resources to this website as time goes on.)

So let’s take this just one step more.

We also already know (because we’ve taken Metaphysics 101), that “the outer reflects the inner.”

So how do we get our outer world to line up with our desires; with our intentions?

Simple. We get our inner world to line up first.

Of course, you already know that our first step in this is to work with our thoughts; we place our intentions on that which we desire. We see something that we like, and we’d like more of it in our lives. Then we put even more of our attention on that which we desire already showing up even more in our lives.

And because “like attracts like,” we get more of that which we desire showing up.

This is an exercise – a discipline – not because it’s hard (it isn’t), but because we need to keep our minds continuously focused – we can’t drift off, or allow ourselves to focus on that which we do not want. We have to keep our focus on that which we desire.

Then we notice it more, appreciate it more, put even more attention on it – and it starts showing up more and more and more.

Very basic, all of this. And I’m mentioning this to give both a high-points review and a context.

Now here’s the next step. Bear with me, and follow carefully, please.

That which we experience in our bodies is very close to our inner reality.

Our bodies are outer, yes.

We are not our bodies.

We know this, at least intellectually. And to get this understanding takes a bit of study and practice; several lifetimes at least for most of us. But right now, we get the general idea. We are not our bodies.

However, our first and most immediate sense of our external reality begins with our bodies. So if we want to change any aspect of our external reality, we begin by changing the experience that we have in our bodies.

A real important point, so let me state this again.

We don’t change our bodies, per se. We change the experience that we are having with being in our bodies.

Very specifically: If we want a better quality of experience in our lives, we start with having a better quality of experience of being in our bodies.

We can do this lots of ways, because there are many things that we can do to have an immediate feel-better sense. We can smile, we can laugh, we can eat a perfectly ripe fig with full attention.

We can do belly dance.

And we can do belly dance with the singular expectation and focus of simply feeling better in ourselves.

This will lead to many good things, not the least of which is simply having a better day.

A Simple Example for Changing Our Reality through Changing Our Physical State

You probably already know the prevailing social wisdom that smiling makes you happier.

Need some scientific support? Check out the Scientific American article on smiling, frowning, and corresponding emotional effect. Or, if you’re facing a truly stressful day, check out this Atlantic Monthly article on how smiling can reduce stress during multitasking.

Taking this just one step further, let’s recall another basic metaphysical principle; the one of acting-as-if to reinforce a desired reality creation. In The Power, by Rhonda Byrnes (author of The Secret), Rhonda tells the story of how a woman wanted a new job. Not just any job, but a very specific kind of job.

This woman created her own powerful “act-as-if” campaign. Every day, she got up in time to “go to the office,” even though the job (much less the office) had not appeared in her life just yet. She showered and dressed as if she were going to the office. She even noted meetings in her day planner; just as she would if she already had the job.

Of course, this paid off. Within a very short time, she had the job, the office, and the meetings.

Now these are two examples of projecting a desire for a better-feeling state (feeling happier, or having a new and much-desired job) into our reality-stream, and triggering these desired states with some physical action (smiling, putting on office-worthy clothes).

We’re going to take the same attitude and approach into dance.

Every time we dance – whether we’re in dance class, or just playing with a move while the water heats up for morning coffee or tea – we attend to how it makes us feel.

We find a little something that feels good. We pursue that further.

Our singular quest is for pleasure in the simple act of doing the movement, because we’re going to connect with our bodies’ intrinsic desire to do certain things and to move in certain ways.

Belly dance goes back a long way. It’s development coincides with the evolution of humanity; it is part of our signature of being human.

When you do belly dance, you’re connecting with your divine and intrinsic right to experience pleasure in your body.

Play with this; throughout your dance, throughout your day.

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Much love and joy to you, dear one, as you cultivate your life through the art of dance!

Yours in dance –

Alay’nya
Author of Unveiling: The Inner Journey
You are the Jewel in the Heart of the Lotus. Become the Jewel!

Founder and Artistic Director, The Alay’nya Studio
Bellydance a courtesan would envy!

Check out Alay’nya’s YouTube Channel
Connect with Alay’nya on Facebook
Follow Unveiling: The Inner Journey on Facebook

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P.S. Learning about an authentic women’s pathway was important in my own breakthroughs.

Maria Strova has written a delightful and insightful book on this subject; The Secret Language of Belly Dancing. This book along with her newly-released Salome: the myth, the Dance of the Seven Veils, is available through Amazon. Maria Strova’s belly dance website provides a means to order the corresponding Salome DVD, and has links to some beautiful and expressive dances, certainly worth watching!

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Maria Strova, Author of The Secret Language of Belly Dancing as well as the newly-released Salome: the myth, the Dance of the Seven Veils, on Unveiling: The Inner Journey

What does Maria Strova, author of The Secret Language of Belly Dancing as well as author, dancer and producer of the newly-released Salome: the myth, and the Dance of Seven Veils, have to say about Unveiling: The Inner Journey?

From Maria Strova’s Amazon review of Unveiling:

Alay’nya’s book, Unveiling: The Inner Journey, is a lot more than a belly dance book. Her work on addresses self-image issues for women, healthy sexuality, and self respect. This work can take the reader by his or her hand through bad days and lack of inspiration, and into the realm of high art and joy. A great companion; a book to keep at hand’s reach.

Read this and more reviews of Unveiling: The Inner Journey.

 

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Copyright (c) 2013, Alay’nya. All rights reserved.

Related Posts: Creating a Youthful Presence Through Belly Dance

• Minimizing the Dreaded “Dowager’s Hump”
• The Most Important Thing (Release the Sacrum to Release Personal Energy)
• Breathing, Breakthroughs, and Belly Dance

Geek to Goddess: How to Transform Your Total Presence in Just 60 Seconds

The following are excerpts from two articles published by Alay’nya in The Gilded Serpent – as a prelude to the video which will be placed here shortly!

Gilded Serpent presents…
How Quickly Can We Become Better? – 3 Tips to Improve Your Dance: Corporate Amazon transforms to Hathor, the Goddess of Love and Pleasure

by Alay’nya (Alianna J. Maren, Ph.D.)
Posted June 11, 2012

All of us want our dance to be beautiful and captivating. Yet often, especially when we are new, we see a great distance between our own movements and the expressive power of our teachers or the favorites whom we watch on YouTube clips and DVDs. Is there a way to accelerate the process of becoming better? If so, what are the secrets?

We typically impose limiting expectations on ourselves. We may think that we’re at a disadvantage, compared to those whom we admire, because frequently, we have begun dance training as mature adults, and often hold full-time day jobs and other commitments. The truth is, though, that Oriental dance is a perfect realm in which we can experience “breakthroughs”. Indeed, we can develop that mesmerizing quality that inspired us to take up the study of dance!

As adults, even as beginners in our art, we can become powerful and alluring. The secrets? They are threefold: (Continue reading at: How Quickly Can We Become Better?.) Copyright (c) Gilded Serpent, LLC.

Gilded Serpent presents…

Gilded Serpent presents…
Fabulous Hip Drops in 30 Seconds or Less!

Author Alay’nya
by Alay’nya (Alianna J. Maren, Ph.D.)
posted January 18, 2013

Martial Arts Principles and Relevance to Oriental Dance

… Dancers and martial artists both use principles in mastering their art. For example, Martha Graham, one of the most important American modern dancers and choreographers of the last century, built a number of movements based on what she called principles of “expansion and contraction”.

… A principle is a single unifying and guiding idea that when we apply it to our alignment or movement, helps us move more effectively. An advantage of using a principles-based approach to dance or martial arts mastery is that it lets us use a single visualization or body sense to achieve a desired result, instead of having to remember lots of little details.

There are several important principles that can be applied to dance. For the purpose of this dance discussion, the single principle that can transform your hip drops, and in fact all of your dance, is that of anchoring.

(Continue reading at: Fabulous Hip Drops in 30 Seconds or Less!.) Copyright (c) Gilded Serpent, LLC.

How Belly Dance Healed My Life – By Alay’nya

I’d just had some major accomplishments.

I should have been relaxed, happy, and proud.

Instead, I was confused and disoriented.

With a sinking sense, I realized – I didn’t know who I was!

My “Untold Story”

For years, I’d hidden behind a “masculine mindset.”

My newly-minted Ph.D., in one of the toughest subjects around (theoretical physical chemistry), had gotten me a new job with the research division of an international company. Getting this degree was a tribute to my ability to stay goal-focused, no matter what.

I was newly divorced. (How wonderful!) Newly out of a love affair. (How awful!)

But, with my emotional landscape clearing out, and with the challenge of using every minute for dissertation-writing no longer taking up my time, I realized: I didn’t know who I was.

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Not Knowing Ourselves – Not Amnesia, But Close

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All That I Knew Was My “Cover Story”

Everything that I had – everything that defined “who I was” – was really part of a cover story.

Oh, yes. Everything was valid enough.

My Ph.D. was very real. So were my job, monthly car payments, and everything else that made up my “day-to-day life.”

What wasn’t real, though, was the story that I’d been telling myself – and everyone else (for years and years) – about who I really was.

The reason?

I simply didn’t know myself. So of course, my “story” could not be completely true.

My Early Schism

When I was twelve years old, I made an unconscious – but very real – life-decision.

Somehow, I internalized a very unsettling new belief.

I believed that it wasn’t safe – and certainly wasn’t happy – and very definitely was not advantageous – for me to inhabit my “feminine identity.”

Emotions and feelings? Dangerous. Very dangerous. Best not to go there.

Instead, I attempted to model myself on Mr. Spock, from the Star Trek TV series.

Of course, this didn’t work. Not at all. If anything, I became more socially awkward.

And I responded to these feelings of pain and awkwardness by withdrawing further into the one world where I knew I had supremacy – my intellect.

And so I studied very challenging, difficult subjects. And I did very well.

And at the end of this, I knew (or thought that I knew – a different story altogether) such arcane subjects as quantum mechanics, statistical thermodynamics, and neural network computing.

A Strategy That Didn’t Work, At All

The hours that I spent learning these subjects let me avoid learning about myself.

Of course, this “pour-myself-into-the-books” strategy didn’t work.

My taking up other male-identified pursuits, such as karate, didn’t help either.

Over time, I realized that I was living a “split identity.”

I was on the verge of a major life crisis.

Everything that I had done – up to this point – dealt with building up my “masculine aspect,” and divorcing myself from my own “inner feminine.”

The reason?

I still thought that being in my feminine mode simply wasn’t safe.

That belief was about to be shaken.

A Chance Discussion – A New Beginning

I tell the story of my turning point in my book, Unveiling: The Inner Journey.

“My chiropractor friend David said, “The most powerful woman that I know is a woman named Medea, and she teaches belly dance.” I was in her next class.

“Medea, a protégé of the internationally-known Cassandra, had begun teaching a more energy-based approach to dance. What I got out of even my first class with Medea carried me through many years and many other dance teachers, not all of whom understood teh energy aspects ofthis dance. Without her unique insights, I would have passed this off as a simply physical art. [p. 402]

Learning Oriental dance (belly dance) gave me a new physical path for body/mind integration. Over time (and this took a few years), I phased out my martial arts study (even the more gentle and fluid T’ai Ch’i Chuan), and focused exclusively on dance.

This wasn’t the entire answer, of course.

Belly Dance is for Women What a Martial Art is for Men

I had loved the intensity and focus of the martial arts. I loved that it was a true “body art” – requiring awareness of every aspect of stance, motion, space, timing, and even breathing and energy patterns.

However, the martial arts were the arts of Mars, the god of war. They were all essentially masculine.

The martial arts had always served as a pathway by which a young man comes to know himself and cultivate his masculinity. But by now, my “masculinity” was way over-cultivated. I needed to access my feminine core.

Logically, I reasoned (with my Mr. Spock hat fully on), there had to be a Venusian art, a quintessentially feminine art. This art form would do for women what the martial arts have traditionally done for men.

I’d found my Venusian art form in Oriental dance (belly dance).

However, something was still missing.

The Practicum

I’d discovered the “laboratory course,” or practicum.

I still needed the lecture course, or the theory.

I started on an earnest quest for something like a feminine path.

I’d read Dan Millman’s The Way of the Peaceful Warrior. In the classic tradition of the young hero being mentored by a sage martial artist, Daniel was tutored by the elusive and enigmatic Socrates. Socrates played the role of a Master Teacher; of an Obi-wan Kenobi or Yoda.

I wanted the same for myself – except in a feminine version!

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The Theory

I found the theory – or at least the starting point – in Toni Grant’s book, Being a Woman, which was based on a pamphlet written in 1956 by Antonia Wolff, then Carl Jung’s lover. This pamphlet, The Structural Forms of the Feminine Psyche, was the beginning – but certainly not the ending of my quest!

Read the rest of the story in Unveiling: The Inner Journey using Amazon’s Look Inside feature: read the Introduction.

Completing My Quest

Pulling together these two aspects – the “theory” and the “practicum” – or the understanding of feminine psychology together with a means of embodying it through dance – has been my quest for over thirty years.

No quest – especially one of this magnitude – is ever “complete.” However, I pulled together all that I understood – up to that time – in my book, Unveiling: The Inner Journey.

This blog continues sharing the ongoing quest with you.

And of course, I practice and teach the time-honored art of Oriental dance – which has become the pathway for feminine unfolding for which I was seeking over thirty years ago!

Wishing you much joy in your own fulfillment!

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Very best wishes as you use Oriental dance (belly dance) to bring youthful vitality, movement, and expressiveness into your life!

Yours in dance –

Alay’nya
Author of Unveiling: The Inner Journey
You are the Jewel in the Heart of the Lotus. Become the Jewel!

Founder and Artistic Director, The Alay’nya Studio
Bellydance a courtesan would envy!

Check out Alay’nya’s YouTube Channel
Connect with Alay’nya on Facebook
Follow Unveiling: The Inner Journey on Facebook

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P.S. “Water therapy” helps emotional healing through belly dance – see how Alay’nya uses belly dance in water to release neck, shoulder, and back tension, minimize carpal-tunnel-like stress in the wrists, and create beautiful snake arm movements!

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P.P.S. Learning about an authentic women’s pathway was important in my own breakthroughs.

Valerie Frankel has written several books on this subject; I’ve discovered them since writing my own book.

Check out Valerie’s works:

• Did you grow up with Buffy? Is a sister, niece, or favorite student a Buffy fanatic? Help her learn how Buffy defines the Heroines’ Journey – and so much more! Read and give Buffy and the Heroine’s Journey: Vampire Slayer as Feminine Chosen One.
• Ever wished that there was a book like Campbell’s “The Man with a Thousand Faces” – written for you? Your own heroine’s archetypal journey! What do myths, legends, fairy tales, and folklore from around the world have to say about you and your own journey? Valerie Frankel’s From Girl to Goddess is applicable at all stages of our lives.
• Game of Thrones devotee? Valerie has other great books out. Check out Valerie’s Game of Thrones e-book on Amazon!

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Valerie Frankel, Author of From Girl to Goddess, on Unveiling: The Inner Journey

What does Valerie Frankel, author of books such as From Girl to Goddess and Buffy and the Heroine’s Journey: Vampire Slayer as Feminine Chosen One, have to say about Unveiling: The Inner Journey?

Ms. Frankel notes:

“Unveiling the Inner Journey is a delightful exploration of the mystical side of dance. Through exploration of archetypes, of tarot cards, of the heroine’s journey in myth and literature, Alay’nya shows the spiritual side of physicality.

“She approaches her topic with devotion but also practicality and a deep intuition of human relationships, explaining though personal experience as well as intense research how the archetypes work and how a woman can channel the lover, mother, amazon and mystic to be all she is meant to become. Teachings of Jung, Murdock, Starhawk, and more appear, from ancient myth to modern culture.

“This is not the hero’s journey but one specific to the woman, or rather, many women on many different stages of journeying.

“This book offers a pathway for transcendence through dance as well as in everyday life. All dancers, physical or spiritual, should get this book–it shows what dance is really about. As the author of one of the few books on the heroine’s journey, I heartily endorse this book–we need more like it!”

Read this and more reviews of Unveiling: The Inner Journey.

 

 

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Copyright (c) 2013, Alay’nya. All rights reserved.

Related Posts: Creating a Youthful Presence Through Belly Dance

• Minimizing the Dreaded “Dowager’s Hump”
• The Most Important Thing (Release the Sacrum to Release Personal Energy)
• Breathing, Breakthroughs, and Belly Dance

Julie Rahm, “America’s Mindset Mechanic,” on “Dead Languages”

A couple of weeks ago my dear friend Julie posted an insightful dead languages on her blogsite. These “dead languages” were not “dead” in the sense of Latin or Sumerian, but “dead” in terms of the energy-impact that it had on both the speaker and the hearer.

Now you’ve heard me mention Julie before. She’s in Unveiling: The Inner Journey (see the tail end of Chapter 21, “Dressing the Part.” You may have followed my link to her post two years ago, when she described her “mindset tools,” particularly the “plumb bob.” (Great analogies, by the way; you might even want to re-read.)

Her blogs are always good. This recent one, though, on how (at least in some parts of our country) we use “dead language” really got my attention. Words like “no problem” (and what they convey emotionally) are an example of “dead language.” They lack vitality, life-force, and connection.

If you haven’t been tracking her blog, add it to your feed. In particular, read this post.

And think about how “dead language” terms have crept into our vocabulary.

Or even worse – how some people may say things like “Shut up!” or “Get outta here!” when what they REALLY mean is “How fantastic! I am so thrilled and happy for you!”

When we’re happy for someone, let’s say it.

And by all means, when someone has good news to share, let us NOT tell them to “Shut up” or to “Get out”! Especially when what we really want to say to them is, “Fabulous, tell me more!”

Let’s do the “golden rule” and speak to others the way we’d like to be spoken to.

Pushing Through the “Sonic Wall” – Not Easy, But Doable (with Patience, Persistence, Fortitude, and Time)

Have you ever broken through the sound barrier? I haven’t; not in an aircraft at least. But in personal life, in terms of processing – working through “stuff” – I certainly have.

Picture of a U.S. Navy F/A-18 breaking the sound barrier. The white halo formed by condensed water droplets is thought to result from a drop in air pressure around the aircraft at transonic speeds, from Wikipedia Commmons entry on Sound Barrier

The Sanskrit term for penetrating the personal “sound barrier” – taken into the personal realm – is kriya. These kriyas are not only known, but usual and expected.

As a yoga students starts “processing” – both by doing physical yoga poses and the meditations – they start to have their “stuff” come out. This can be physical; jerks and spasms while doing yoga postures. It can also be emotional; huge “waves” of feeling come over and through a person during these times.

I first learned the term kriya from Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way:

As we notice which friends bore us, which situations leave us stifled, we are often rocked by waves of sorrow. We may want our illusions back! … And thanks to the morning pages we learn what we want and ultimately become willing to make the changes needed to get it. But not without a tantrum. And not without a kriya, a Sanskrit word meaning a spiritual emergency or surrender. (I always think of kriyas as spiritual seizures. Perhaps they should be spelled crias becasue they are cries of the soul as it is wrung through changes.)

We all know what a kriya looks like: it is the bad case of the flu right after you’ve broken up with your lover. It’s the rotten head cold and bronchial cough that announces you’ve abused your health to meet an unreachable work deadline. That asthma attack out of nowhere when you’ve just done a round of caretaking your alcoholic sibling? That’s a kriya, too.

Always significant, frequently psychosomatic, kriyas are the final insult our psyche adds to our injuries. “Get it”? a kriya asks you.

[The Artist’s Way, pp. 81-82]

The term kriya, though, actually means so much more. Translated from the Sanskrit, kriya really means a “completed action.” There is, in fact, a whole yoga practice built around kriyas; it entails the physical postures (asanas), energy work, specialized breathing (pranayama) and visualization. In short, kriya yoga is exactly what we are doing in dance form. (Look for more about kriya yoga over these next few years, as I learn more and infuse what I learn into what we are doing.)

Whether yoga or dance, this is all a part of our pathworking. And the important thing about a kriya being a “completed action”? It means that a person has broken through a personal “sound barrier.” They’ve managed to get to the other side of a huge wall of personal resistance.

Not without cries and tumult. Not without tears in the night. Not without wondering if we’re just crazy, or if our lives have been a total loss.

The early attempts to penetrate the “physical” sound barrier all met with resounding failure. The planes simply bucked and shuddered, and couldn’t get through. It took many passes, many redesigns, and many different efforts over many years, before the first breakthroughs occurred.

Are you going through a kriya? (I was, over the last two months.) If so, the following from the Wikipedia entry on the sound barrier may interest you:

On page 13 of the “Me 262 A-1 Pilot’s Handbook” issued by Headquarters Air Materiel Command, Wright Field, Dayton, Ohio as Report No. F-SU-1111-ND on January 10, 1946:

Speeds of 950 km/h (590 mph) are reported to have been attained in a shallow dive 20° to 30° from the horizontal. No vertical dives were made. At speeds of 950 to 1,000 km/h (590 to 620 mph) the air flow around the aircraft reaches the speed of sound, and it is reported that the control surfaces no longer affect the direction of flight. The results vary with different airplanes: some wing over and dive while others dive gradually. It is also reported that once the speed of sound is exceeded, this condition disappears and normal control is restored.

The comments about restoration of flight control and cessation of buffeting above Mach 1 are very significant in a 1946 document.

In case you didn’t get it, let me restate: “… the control surfaces no longer affect the direction of flight.”

That means, while we’re going through a kriya, our lives go all to hell. Our usual means of “controlling” what goes on – in and around our lives – just don’t work anymore. (Sound familiar to anyone? It describes my last two months to a “T.”)

The relief is that “once the speed of sound is exceeded, this condition disappears and normal control is restored.” In short, once we’ve passed through the kriya (the crisis, or spiritual emergence), we get some control again.

For those of us going through such crises – now, in the past, or to come – understanding this process and knowing that we regain “normal control” on the other side is most reassuring. Not to mention that we’ll have pierced our own personal “sound barrier.” We’ll be flying in a totally different realm.

Exciting, hmm?

Housecleaning – Inside and Out

Housecleaning can become a bit compulsive.

And this is really ok.

It’s especially ok if the house really needs to be cleaned, as mine has.

Last year, between March 21st (Vernal Equinox) and April 1st, I took stock.

I realized that my energy was low. (“I can’t even spell ‘marketing plan’,” I wrote in my journal.) Unveiling was close to launch date – not yet quite there, but I could really, realistically see it coming. (And at that, it still took another three months before I held the first physical Unveiling copies.) But as the launch-hour approached, life (and my overall energy) seemed to be slowing down.

This sense of how much more difficult it is to complete a major life transition is not unusual at all. There is even an analogy to how things work out in nature: physicists know the phenomenon called “critical slowing down” – the fact that just before a system changes state (water to steam, for example), we can put in a whole lot of “energy” and still not see much difference. It just becomes harder and harder to gain a single degree of temperature. Any woman who has borne children knows that the last few months – and weeks and days and hours – are the most difficult. There’s a time (so I’m told) when you just want that baby born, no matter what. And for those of us who’ve taken on any project, we know that the early “blocking out” stages can happen quickly – from building a house to painting a picture to changing our body shape. It’s filling in the details that takes so much time.

Add to this one more important factor: when we’re getting close to the “finish line” for any big life project, we can’t let go. It might be completing a book, a degree, a renovation project. And simultaneously, the “project” – whatever it is – consumes our life. There really is no time left for anything else.

The point is: We do transform our lives. We do take on what are truly heroic quests and challenges. And while we are doing these – and going through the last very difficult stages – the rest of our lives unravel. The house gets dirty. Important relationships are not maintained. (At least, not with the diligence that we usually muster.) This would be the year that the vegetable garden gets sparse and weedy, and we don’t even think about putting up vegetables that summer.

Balance is lovely. Balance feels good, and so does a clean house, a set of well-maintained friendships, and a beautiful, thriving vegetable garden. But when we are doing a Heroic Quest, we forsake balance.

Balance is something that we recapture later. And it may take time. In my case, it’s taken me a year – that’s right, a full year – to get the house and grounds cleaned up. And I’ve really, truly been working pretty hard at it. Most especially, over this month of February.

So you haven’t heard much from me this last month. I love you just as much as ever. And I’ve been thinking about you while cleaning out the storage room. (And when I swept mouse dung and dust off the high utility shelves – and got whif-fuls of it, and came down with allergy-induced headaches later – well, lesson learned for next time.)

Cleaning, de-gunking, and organizing – restoring balance, harmony, and joy – takes time. This is a transition. Not quite a Quest, but a post-Quest mop-up.

So if we have been Questing lately – we need to recognize that post-Quest, it takes a little time to get life back in order.

And have you been Questing? Do you want to know more about a Heroine’s Quest (versus the classic Hero’s)? Learn more: online radio talk show on the Heroic Quest with moderator Dennis Tardan.

How to Kick-Start a Healthy Eating Plan for the New Year

Can I just say this straight?

Diets don’t work.

Diets, or any sense of deprivation – any sense of “I can’t have this” or “I can’t have as much of this as I’d like” – just doesn’t work as a way to live our lives.

May I also say: this is still early February. We are just coming out of hibernation. And like good old bears, we still want to “carb up.”

To make things worse, we’re being bombarded with magazines showing us images of barely post-pubescent young women; those who have the ultra-firm flat tummies, the carefully sculpted bottoms, and scarcely a half-ounce of extra body fat.

Nuts to that, I say! (In fact, nuts are a really good idea – protein, carbs, fiber … but okay, that’s a different post.)

Sauteed Brussels Sprouts with Lemon and Pistachios; Bon Appetit, February, 2008. Recipe by Dan Barber. Photograph by Lisa Hubbard

Right now, we’re barely getting out of our caves.

We’re a few days post Imholc/Candlemas/Groundhog Day. (Pick your holiday of choice.) There’s no question; we are starting to feel a bit better. There’s more light in the sky now. The days are just a bit longer. And we’re having an early spring. The daffodils are up; the trees show signs of early budding.

But it’s still February.

So the big question is: How to recharge our diets and exercise patterns?

The answer is: Gravitate towards that which makes us feel good. So instead of forcing ourselves towards anything – especially anything that is a little stringent or unnatural – we instead invite ourselves – gently and lovingly and with the greatest nurturance and care possible – to do those things that will help us feel better.

This often means cooking our own food, from scratch. Using the best possible natural ingredients that we can find – especially healthy fresh vegetables.

But if you’re like me, then breaking off whatever you’re doing sometimes just seems like too much work. And cooking up anything when getting home from work seems like way too much effort.

So here’s what I’m doing to get myself going; you might want to do the same:

• Put up good-foods pictures where you’ll see them. Right now, I’m looking at a picture of brussels sprouts. Yes, brussels sprouts – with pistachios and lemon. And I’m about to pull this picture out of the magazine, trim the edges neatly, put it into a plastic sleeve holder, and tape that to one of my kitchen cupboards. And I’ll do the same with a picture of a fresh salad of mixed greens (when I find one). And similarly with one or two more really invigorating and inspiring recipes. Why? Because we’re visual creatures. We respond to stimulation. And at this time of the year, in particular, we crave visual, tactile, and olfactory stimulus. So – we provide ourselves with stimulus and inspiration, and action follows.
• Pre-process your raw veggies as soon as you get home What can you say to a raw cauliflower? Not much, really. So as I’m unpacking the bags of raw veggies, I try to do what I can to get them ready for later cooking. I take the leaves off the cauliflower, and core out the bottom end. And I try to do other things that make it possible to get meals together just a bit more easily later in the week. The biggest drawback to eating more healthily – that means, more veggies (both cooked and raw) – is that they take more prep time. A whole lot of washing and cutting and fussing. The other thing that seems to work is to take the veggies, a cutting board, and necessary knives and bowls in to watch some TV. This is a sort of “low-energy” task – something to do when a little too tired to do anything really energetic or creative, but not quite completely zoned out. It’s a good way to prep veggies for salads, stir-fries, soups, and other uses.
• Prioritize veggie-intensive food preps for early in the day, when there’s still some energy. I try to plan and prep whatever my meals will be as early in the day as possible. At this time of year, this often means a soup or a slow-cooked meal. If I can get this started early – before getting into the other tasks and priorities – then the food is ready later on, when I’m hungry. I may even pre-prep a salad, and put it in the fridge with a cover over the dish. And also even make a little mustard/honey/olive-or-grapeseed oil/balsamic dressing. Always tastes better than the store-bought. I’ll make this up and store in the fridge, and this minimizes reaching for the store-bought back-up dressing. (Think about this: You’re more likely to purchase quality ingredients when you make your own dressing. And you’re more likely to add in little extra heath-giving “extras” when you make it yourself.)

That’s it, really. Focus on the feel-good foods; especially the veggies. And make the cream-cheese brownies when you need them; if you have enough in the way of brussels sprouts and salads, everything else takes care of itself.

One final thing: With warmer days, it’s time to get outside once again. I’m looking forward to a lengthy walk today; a couple of miles at least. As soon as the sidewalks or streets are ice-free, and the wind is not so chill, it’s time to get some fresh air and exercise. And being outside is so much more fun and invigorating than being on a treadmill in a gym!

To your health, happiness, and an overall glorious New Year! – yours – Alay’nya